The Conners Season 4 Episode 9 Review: Three Exes, Role Playing, and a Waterbed

Television

It was the Darlene and Ben show once again on The Conners Season 4 Episode 9, and I’m so tired of watching these two bicker that it made me want to change the channel.

I know there was a time when I liked Ben and Darlene as a couple. I rooted for them. I wanted them to get married and have a child together. 

Now, I’m just grateful that none of that ever occurred. 

Watching these two fight, snipe, and verbally tear one another down isn’t funny. It’s sad, bordering on pathetic, and I wish it would end. 

Darlene: I can honestly say that I hope you find somebody.
Ben: Well, thanks.
Darlene: Anything you want to say to me?
Ben: Oh, sure. Yes. I can honestly say that I don’t wish you on anybody.

I kind of liked Nick. I didn’t believe he was going to be a long-term love interest for Darlene, but it was nice to see her working on herself and enjoying this relationship.

I had hoped Nick would stick around a little longer. But he got one viewing of the Ben and Darlene show and walked out before it had finished.

I can’t say I blame him.

This could be the O’doul’s talking, but I’m pretty sure you and Ben still have feelings for each other.

Nick

Ben and Darlene had a difficult breakup. That they have trouble being in one another’s presence is expected, but then why does Ben hang out at the Conner’s house so often?

The excuse is that he’s like a family member, but he’s not actual family. There’s no reason for him to continually drop by, especially when Darlene is the only one home.

Ben claims Darlene wasted a considerable part of his life while taking no responsibility for his shortcomings. Darlene has screwed up plenty, but I can respect the spiritual journey she’s on to try and make herself better. 

And the only reason Darlene and Nick ran into Ben was that she thought her father would be working instead of Ben, whereas Ben is always hanging out in Darlene’s kitchen. 

Lately, Ben comes off as more of a jerk and less of the nice guy he started as. and I’m done with him. I’ve had enough of his acerbic jokes, his bad attitude, and his scruffy beard. I can’t be sure if Darlene is over him, but I surely am. 

Okay, moving on to other relationship disasters.

It’s clear that Jackie and Neville are headed for a rough patch. 

Almost anyone would be a little insecure around Helen. She’s young, blonde, gorgeous, and she and Neville were once engaged. 

But Jackie isn’t anyone. Jackie takes insecurity to a dangerous new level. 

When Jackie smashed the vase with the flowers Neville gave her, I wished she had a therapist she could call because I fear she will need some professional help to get through this without losing Neville. 

It’s distressing to see Jackie go from feeling loved and confident in her relationship to watching her self-esteem crash through the proverbial basement floor. 

But it’s hard to blame her. Even I could almost hear Beverly cackling somewhere in Jackie’s head, telling her that no one would choose her over Helen. 

It is one of those moments when I wish Roseanne were still around to help talk Jackie down. Becky might be able to help, but not to the extent that Jackie’s big sister could. 

It feels like Jackie is so close to finding her happily ever after. She just needs to make it over this last hurdle to get there. Unfortunately, this hurdle is formidable, especially for someone as emotionally damaged as Jackie. 

Finally, we get to Dan and Louise, sans Louise.

For anyone who hasn’t heard, Katey Sagal had an accident that has kept her off the set for several episodes. You can read more about that at the link below.

Katey Sagal Hospitalized After Getting Hit by Car

We hear the actress is recovering well, and Louise will be back in the Conner house soon. 

In the meantime, Dan’s redecorating their bedroom on his own. 

Will Louise think the waterbed, psychedelic lights, rainbow-striped pillows, and tie-dyed sheets are a groovy ’70s throwback, or will they cause a horrible case of motion sickness? We’ll all have to wait to find out. 

The upside of all of this redesign was two-fold. 

First, we got to see Beverly Rose, who is now an adorable toddler who used toilet water to clean off her tablet, as toddlers do. 

Second, Dan realized that Becky is juggling a lot between being a mom, school, work, and helping him, so he offered to stay with his granddaughter so that Becky could spend a night enjoying the waves of the waterbed. 

Hopefully, Becky wakes up feeling refreshed and not seasick. 

But the scene that made me smile the most was having Dan sort through the bills. 

Don’t pay. Send the check but don’t sign it. Sign the check but don’t send it. Put it back in the mailbox marked not at this address, and pay…next week.

Dan [going through bills]

Dan not having the money to pay the household expenses wasn’t what made me happy, per se. It was how it reminded me of a similar scene with Roseanne many years ago where she explained how nothing got paid until it was a third and final notice. 

Everything else would have to wait. 

That seemed funnier back in the day, maybe because it seemed normal for a family with young children to be struggling. Knowing that the struggle never ended but only got worse is more than a little depressing. 

And that’s a pitfall that The Conners needs to try to avoid because there’s very little humor to be found in living on the edge of poverty, especially long term. 

The hope has always been that this family will eventually prevail.

With Becky back in school, Jackie running the Lunchbox, Dan happily remarried, and Darlene actively pursuing some personal growth, I’ve got my fingers crossed that things are looking up for the Conners.

Hit that big, blue, SHOW COMMENTS button down below to share your thoughts on “Three Exes, Role Playing, and a Waterbed.”

And don’t forget, you can watch The Conners online here at TV Fanatic.

C. Orlando is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.

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